


Epiphanies

by BorosPaladin



Category: Warhammer 40.000
Genre: Female Space Marines, Gen, Space Marines, Trans Male Character, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 14:59:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4839767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BorosPaladin/pseuds/BorosPaladin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Crimson Paladins open the initiation trials to girls, he sees his chance to show everyone who he really is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Epiphanies

He didn’t grin when his opponent hit the mat.

“Still not the Emperor’s Finest,” the defeated boy muttered, just loud enough for the victor to hear. The instructor called the match before she had a chance to pick him up again.

“According to the terms, Jason, you will end your attacks both on Alexandra and on those she has defeated. The school administration will not protect you should you continue to do so. For the record, you were less of a challenge for her than most of her opponents.”

He didn’t grin at the instructor’s remark. “My name is Alex,” he said as he marched to the girl’s locker room. Jason tried to clamber off the floor. “Your name is Alexandra! You’re a girl, you’ll always be a puny girl, and the Space Marines will never even let you try out!”

The instructor did nothing about the flying five-pound dumbbell that struck him in the chest, breaking three ribs.

 

 

As long as he could remember, people called him “Alexandra”, and for a while he believed it. It wasn’t until the Space Marines were brought up that he had realized they were wrong. Most girls would just shrug at the idea that the Space Marines would only ever take boys to be the Emperor’s finest, but he acted differently. That was the first big moment of realization, the first time it had ever occurred to him that he might not be the girl everyone said he was. No one called him Alex, save a few friends, but with their support “Alexandra” just made him more focused, more furious, more driven to show that he could beat anyone at the trials for becoming a Space Marine.

 

Two years after Jason, who still hated him, started calling him “Alex”, he was well-known by the name. The traditional message arrived from the Crimson Paladins of Honor Hold that each city should send their best athletic youths to compete for the honor of becoming a Space Marine, but this year the entire planet was abuzz with a slight change implying that the Crimson Paladins would be accepting girls as candidates. Few believed it; Alex didn’t care whether or not he believed it. He just went.

They mocked him on the transport, but Jason said nothing.

They mocked him as he was sorted into the tournament, ranked fifth-best on the entire planet for his age. Some said best for a girl, but whenever an interviewer said that, he simply pointed out that the Space Marines are the Emperor’s finest, regardless of gender.

The contestants stopped mocking him when he won his four-man free-for-all first round faster than any other contender.

The audience stopped mocking him when his two opponents ganged up on him in the second round, but he crushed them anyways.

The commentators switched their focus from mocking him directly to using him to mock the other contestants when he flung Jason into the stands during the third round. Later commentary would have Jason saying “it was an honor to have been beaten by Alex a second time. She’s such an amazing fighter, it says something awesome about me just that I was paired to fight her.”

 

 

The Marines had stood like statues watching the proceedings, save for their leader refereeing matches, until the very end, when each of them stood alongside one of the new initiates to march into the transport. Their leader announced her as “Sister Alexandra”.

She wasted no time correcting him after the Rhino’s doors closed.

“I am not ‘Sister Alexandra’. I’m not some warrior nun. I am Brother Alex.”

Though he wasn’t wearing his helmet, the Marine’s face betrayed nothing. “And you are certain of this? You were admitted to the trials as a girl, first name - “

“I know what the paperwork says. Just because they call me that doesn’t make it true.”

The Marine cracked a small, bemused smile. “And you are certain of this?”

“I am, sir.”

The Space Marine leader stood up sharply and drew his sword. “Scriptor, note this for the record: The Rite of Renaming used for an initiate.” A small floating skull with a scroll of paper and pen attached whirred to life and began writing.

He put the point of his sword to the floor of the transport, holding it upright by its guard. “Battle-Sister Alexandra, stand, and place your hands on the sword’s handle.” He had to reach above his head, but did, standing on his tip-toes and staring his reflection in the eyes as he had so many times before, saying things not so different from this. “What is the name you wish to take?”

“Brother Alex, sir.”

The older Marine shook his head. “While the Rite is simple, one of its few rules is that it must grant you a new name, not simply a nickname. If you are unsure, it is my duty to give you your name.”

“I … I don’t know what name to take, sir. I have known no other.”

“Sister Alexandra, you do not know this, but you have come to our Chapter at a time of great change, and as a sign of incredible new things to come. Your trials were exemplary as few ever are and promise that you will rise to even greater heights within the Chapter. That you ask for the Rite of Renaming before you are even made a full Marine shows your certitude and faith in inner truth and revelation. This is the name I give you, then, Brother Epiphanes. Do you accept?”

He smirked, his reflection’s eyes looking sharper than they ever had before. “I do, sir. I shall be Brother Epiphanes.”

“Then let it be so. The name of Sister Alexandra shall be stricken from all records and righted to your true name. May you serve the Emperor well with it, Brother Epiphanes.”

**Author's Note:**

> I WAS GOING TO WRITE THE FIRST GIRL ACCEPTED BY THE CRIMSON PALADINS AND THEN THIS JERK SHOWS UP
> 
> I know I'm a terrible writer besides, but please do let me know if I've done a bad job describing a trans boy's experiences. For the record, I don't know any canon basis for the "Rite of Renaming" I came up with, but I'm using it for a number of characters going through major transformations before Brother Epiphanes showed up, not that he had any idea.


End file.
